Seeing the Princesses for the first time is the same.

Bill and Ted in armor the same, includes the reference to the Wizard of Oz (which ended up in some press materials!)

Still two henchmen plunging their swords into Ted's suit.

Still has the Bill saying "I love you" to dead Ted.

Ted still hits man with his lance.

The Princesses meet them inside the castle, Bill and Ted going to their chambers.  Ted gives them his message of love there.  Rest is same except Bill says "How's it goin', Duke-dude" instead of "Royal Ugly Dudes."

The rest of the execution scene is the same, except:

BILL
So-crates!  Billy the Kid!

Socrates winks at Bill.  Billy the Kid taps his gun.

BILLY THE KID
You saved my life, I saved yours.

TED
Way to go, dude!

They all exchange a quick high-five.  Then Bill notices the Henchmen closing in fast.

BILL
Let's go!

As they turn and rush away:

TED
(looks back)
What about the babes?!

Bill glances back at the Princesses who are completely surrounded by Guards.  The camera moves with Bill and Ted as they near the wall of the castle. Henchmen in hot pursuit.

BILL
There's nothing we can do!

TED
But . . . !!

BILL
Ted.  We got no choice.  We'll have to
come back for ‘em after the report.

They reach the end of the courtyard and begin to scale the stone wall.  Henchmen draw nearer as Billy the Kid gives Socrates a "boost" over the wall, then scrambles over with Bill.  When Ted reaches the top, he stops and looks back at Joanna who smiles and blows a kiss at him just before a henchman's arrow embeds itself in the wall just below Ted.  More arrows fly past and Ted is driven over onto:

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL

where he joins the other guys as they run for their life toward the phone booth.

TED
(catching up)
Bill - I just realized.  We don't got a Medieval
speaker for the report.  What are we gonna do??

BILLY THE KID
I took care of that.

BILL / TED
What??

Billy the Kid nods and points inside the booth where JOHN THE SERF, flipping the Nerf football up and down, grins toothlessly at them.  The heavily armed henchmen begin to scale the wall as Bill, Ted, Socrates and Billy the Kid all pile into the phone booth with John the Serf.  Needless to say, it's getting a bit crowded in here.  Bill grabs the phone book and begins rifling through it as a flaming arrow smacks against the booth.  Ted peers through the glass at the quickly approaching Henchmen.

TED
Bill . . . I think we better get going.
Bill - what are you doing, dude?

BILL
I'm trying to find the number to San Dimas! - There.

But, just as Bill gets a good look at the number a flaming arrow sails into the booth and lodges directly into the phone book! The book's brittle pages burst into flame!

BILL / TED
Whoaaa!!

TED
Put it out, dude!

BILL
I'm trying - owww!  Dude, I can't!
We'll hafta do without it!

Bill tosses the burning book from the booth and Ted pulls the door shut as the henchmen approach the booth.  At the head of the group stalks a ferocious seven foot MOUNTAIN OF FLESH, swinging an immense spiked ball and chain over his head.  In the booth Bill dials frantically.

TED
What are you dialing, dude?!

BILL
San Dimas.  Hold on.

Bill finishes dialing.  An arrow careens off the antenna.  There is a CLICK.  The guys look at each other expectantly, and we HEAR:

A PRE-RECORDED VOICE
I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service at this time.
Please check your directory and dial again.  Thank you.

BILL / TED
Oh, no!

Suddenly the booth begins to rock as the Henchmen begin pounding on the side of it.  Billy the Kid and Socrates struggle to hold the door shut.  Bill, panicky, redials, as Ted notices that outside the booth the Henchmen have given way to the seven-foot GIANT who is now snarling ferociously, fiercely swinging the ball and chain over his head.

TED
C'mon, dude!  He's gonna - !!

BILL
I know, Ted!!

There is another CLICK and the guys cross their fingers as:

The giant's ball hits the antenna just as in the movie.

Bill and Ted comment on how they hope they're going home.

The scene in the future is as in the previous scripts where they are outside and meet the woman.

After this scene, this is added:

INT. GREAT DOME - SAME

The Three Important People watch, concerned, as outside the ground opens, and, in a BLUE FLASH, the booth disappears.  They turn to Rufus.

RUFUS
Gentlemen, don't worry.  They know what they're doing.

The Important People look at each other, worries, and we:

CUT TO:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME

The booth hurtles PAST CAMERA, to five faces pressed up against the glass.

TED (V.O.)
Let's go back to England!

BILL (V.O.)
We don't know the number!  Even if we did -
the phone booth's broke.  We just gotta
keep dialing San Dimas till it works!

The booth whizzes around a sharp curve in the circuiting and we:

CUT TO:

They pick up Julius Caesar as in previous scripts, only they just pull him into the booth.

After they leave Rome:

TED (V.O.)
Where'd we dial?!

BILL (V.O.)
San Dimas!

TED (V.O.)
Where we goin'?!

BILL (V.O.)
Beats me!

They pick up Freud much the same as in the movie.

They pick up Genghis Khan as in the movie.

They pick up Joan of Arc in the middle of a battle.

They pick up Beethoven conducting the ninth symphony and pull him from the orchestra pit, is grabbed by the hair.

Genghis Khan grabs Lincoln from the oval office.

The scene in which they're riding like a roller coaster and Bill and Ted see the antenna's broken is the same as in the movie.

The scene in the Prehistoric marsh is about the same as previous script scenes in which Ted hands out the pudding cups in the van.  Ted reads off list of figures.  Amelia Earhart joke is dropped.  The "do not lick the lids" joke is in.  Instead of scolding them from the front of the van, Bill scolds them from on top of the booth, saying "Do I have to come over there and make you stop?

Ted is about to return to his own Pudding Cup when he looks up and notices that a huge brontosaurus' head has entered frame and is looking at him.  Ted looks at the Brontosaurus, shrugs, and hands the dinosaur his Pudding Cup.

TED
Here you go, dude.  Enjoy it.  Soon you'll be extinct.

The Dinosaur takes the Pudding Cup and retreats OUT OF FRAME.

Then Ted looks up, remembering something.

BILL
(calling)
Oh!  And don't lick the -

We HEAR the dinosaur SCREECH.

The scene in which they fix the booth is the same.  Og and the other caveman do not appear in this version at all.  Instead the brontosaurus is seen chewing an immense wad of bubble gum.  A huge pink bubble is blown, and then pops on his face and we:

CUT TO:

When they get back to the 7/11, this line is added:

TED
We made it!
(looking at his watch)
And we still got plenty of time!

Confusing talk about that being us them is still in this version.

Rest of scene is the same, except Rufus tells them they have sixty minutes left.

On the way to San Dimas, this is different:

THE CIRCUITS OF TIME where the booth sails by incredibly fast, looking about ready to fall apart.

TED (V.O.)
Hold on dudes!

BILL (V.O.)
Just a little further!

THE BOOTH runs a chute, dives down a steep incline, and then, as it tears around a sharp curve the door flies open, causing EVERYONE IN THE BOOTH to be hurled out into the circuit!

VOICES
Whooooaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

The Historical Figures slide through the tube, in the ultimate thrill ride, and, as they shoot down OUT OF FRAME, followed by the phone booth, we:

CUT TO:

EXT. BILL'S BACKYARD - DAY

Missy is watering some flowers and listening to a walkman when we HEAR (but she doesn't):

VOICES
(approaching from above)
Whoaa!!  It's your house, dude!
I can totally see down her top!  Etc.

And then, one by one THE HISTORICAL FIGURES begin dropping from the sky and landing around the yard:

- Abraham Lincoln lands, head first, in the junipers.

- Julius Caesar lands at the top of the pool slide and slides into the water.

- Genghis Khan lands perfectly in a deck chair and crosses his legs.

- Joan of Arc lands and spins around in a hammock.

- John the Serf lands on the diving board, does a perfect double-flip, and then lands on Caesar's shoulders in the pool.

- Socrates falls into the chimney, his robe ripping and staying at the top as he plummets into the fireplace.

- Billy the Kid drops through a basketball hoop and lands in a garbage can.

- Beethoven is caught on the TV antenna and dangles there. And finally:

- Sigmund Freud bounces off the telephone wires, hits the diving board, flips backwards onto an air mattress, bounces up onto the roof, tumbles down onto a teeter-totter, is flung into a telephone pole, and finally drops into a wheelbarrow, which dumps him on the garden hose, cutting off Missy's water flow and causing:

MISSY to turn around, just in time to see Bill and Ted drop INTO FRAME, landing on their feet right in front of her.  Missy removes her walkman.  Missy sees the phone booth land and comments "That's odd."

Rest of scene and introduction of figures is the same, except she says there are Cokes in the fridge.

Scene of them cleaning the house is the same, except:

Ted washes dishes and hands them to Joan of Arc, who dries them.  Suddenly, Joan is struck by her own reflection in a plate.

JOAN OF ARC
(in French)
I can see myself.

TED
(nods proudly)
Modern detergent is most excellent.

Abraham Lincoln is folding clothes.  Genghis Khan is ironing Socrates robe.  Ted warns his iron is hot, but he runs iron over his hand anyway.  Genghis Khan says "Bogus."  Julius Caesar is being dragged around lawn by an out-of-control mower.  John the Serf is cleaning the pool and checking the chlorine level.  Joan of Arc finishes the dishes and it sitting sipping coffee and watching a soap opera.  Lincoln and Genghis Khan help Socrates into his clean toga.

THE DRIVEWAY - A MINUTE LATER

The Historical Figures pile into Missy's station wagon.  Sigmund Freud and Abraham Lincoln argue over who gets to sit in the front seat.

BILL
Sigmund Freud, you sit in back.
Abe Lincoln has longer legs.

SECONDS LATER the doors all slam shut.

MISSY
Where to, guys?

The car takes off, and we:

CUT TO:

Set up in mall the same, except Ted gives the Historical Figures Slurpees instead of sodas.

Kids giving report in auditorium in costumes the same.

Name of Deacon's elementary school has changed to Leopold Lamont Elementary School.  Kerry and Daphne are with Deacon and giggling as he explains he ditched Napoleon.

Scene of Napoleon at Raging Waters same as in movie.

Historical Figures in mall same as in previous script, with these changes and additions:

After being rejected by girls and called a geek:

Freud is alone in front of the movie theater.  He takes a bite from his Hot Dog, spilling mustard on his beard.  As he turns to walk away, we SEE that someone has taped a "KICK ME" sign onto the back of his pants.

Scene of Bill and Ted in car with Napoleon going back to mall is same except Missy is driving.

Captain Williams still gets call at police station.

Rest of mall scene plays out the same as in previous script.

In an ear pearcing kiosk, Lincoln and Freud crouch behind the counter, hiding from two teenaged SECURITY GUARDS.  Freud looks over at Lincoln.

FREUD
You're a very great man.

LINCOLN
Thank you.

Beat.  Freud looks at Lincoln, expectantly.

LINCOLN
I don't know who you are, but I expect that you are too.

FREUD
Thank you.

Freud turns and Lincoln sees the "KICK ME" sign on his rear.  Lincoln shrugs, then kicks him.  Freud is about to protest.

The scene continues as they run up the down escalator.

Rest of scene in mall is the same.

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM

Ox, as "Socrates" is addressing the audience. He reads from a cheat sheet under his toga.

OX
. . . everything is different, but the same.
Things are moderner than before . . .

Mr. Ryan watches.  Behind him, the clock reads 2:32.

Scenes of historical figures being booked in police station are the same as last script.

Gemghis Khan is in a line-up while an employee from Big 5 points him out (not Oshman's).

Scene of Bill and Ted arriving and Ted confronting his dad the same as in movie.

Scene of them finding keys and all the same as in movie.

They set up the tape recorder the same as in movie, for 2:39.

Scene plays out as in last script with Officer James, only with Motley Crue picture in frame.

Bit with Officer Ched the same.

Bit in which Ted's dad finds taperecorder:

TED'S VOICE
. . . now that you're finally listening to me, dad -

Captain Williams furiously turns the recorder off.  All of a sudden it comes up again.

TED'S VOICE
- there's something I want to tell you.

Captain Williams spots a second tape recorder, placed a couple of feet away.

TED'S VOICE
I'm not a failure, dad.  I'm not ignorant.
I'm not selfish, and I'm not -

As Captain Williams reaches for the recorder:

TED'S VOICE
(continues)
Dad!  Don't turn this off!  I'm not done!

But Williams turns the machine off.

Ted's voice resumes yet again, from a third tape recorder:

TED'S VOICE
I told you not to turn it off.  Dad.  Listen: I'm
gonna
pass the test.  And we're gonna start our band.

Williams, livid, turns and storms back into the station.

Then comes the part when the say they've stalled him and continue with the opening for Iron Maiden bit.

The bit about the ladder not being there still in this script.

Scene plays out the same as in last script, with the bucket instead of the garbage can.

Scene in auditorium with Ryan excusing everyone the same as last script.

Bill and Ted arrive at the school and Bill thanks Missy for the ride.

Scene of Bill and Ted starting their report with the figures outside lined up the same as in last script.

THE REPORT - A BRIEF MONTAGE

The following should flow together and overlap fluidly:

- A selection of Historical Figures addresses the class.  Some use the chalkboard, others are soft spoken, yet others gesticulate wildly and thrash about.  Those who can, speak English.

- Joan of Arc speaks quietly in French.  Bill stands beside her, coaxing her along.

- Freud holds a Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick, pontificating grandly.  Abe Lincoln reads from his Gettysburg Address envelope.  Julius Caesar, surprisingly nervous, can't think of anything to say.  Some of the other Figures laugh at him.

- In line, Genghis Khan tries to cut in front of Lincoln, but is rebuffed.

As it goes on, the report becomes more and more of a "discussion."  The Figures agree, disagree, urge each other on, interject respectfully, etc.  Most seem to be enjoying themselves.  Some open Pudding Cups, Ding Dongs, etc.

And by now, the room is jammed with literally hundreds of people, all of whom watch it total, awed silence, as Napoleon, tanned and smiling, comes to the end of an animated account of his adventures at Raging Waters.

Report continues to end same as in last script.

Cut from report to Prom scene as in last script.

The prom scene starts the same, but instead of the carriage the phone booth they arrive in disappears.  It reappears with Rufus and the babes.  Rufus explains their legacy same as in last script.

Script ends the same as last one.


Go to 1985 Script Notes . . .