I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"
I'm Not Supposed to Say "I Love You" (Or, as I have begun to shorten it, "I Like You, Too") is a little universe I have built in my mind for my two beloved original characters Augustus and the Changeling. I have long been a writer of fanfiction, but very recently have felt myself a little frustrated by not being able to write the kinds of characters/stories that I wanted, because of source material/canon restraints, and finally decided that meant it was about time I took intitiative and created the characters I wanted to see in the world.
There's not a particular plot to follow in this little universe; I suppose it might be fitting to call it a Slice of Life type story? In my head, I have found myself describing it primarily as a love letter to Cringey Autustic Losers in their Late-Twenties/Early-Thirties, written by a cringey autistic loser in its mid/late-twenties. A place where autistic adults who still live with their parents, have a tendency to panic at the idea of going to a grocery store, and can't mask their autistic traits for anything can make a space for themselves, and each other, where they are accepted, loved, and appreciated for exactly who they are. It's been very fun to work on, and a particular kind of freeing and exciting to be able to write about characters so much like myself -- I'm really glad I decided to step out of my comfort zone a bit to work on it!!
You can meet Augustus and the Changeling below!! A little further down, you can see some of the stories that I have written about them, and at the bottom of the page is a little gallery of artwork that I have done so far.
This page is something of a Homepage for the series as a whole. I do also have a tumblr I made for the series -- @changelingeyes -- where you can find some more off-the-cuff short form thoughts and notes about the characters. There is also an ArchiveOfOurOwn account for the writing I have done. If you have given this little 'verse a look over and liked what you saw and read, I'd really appreciate you dropping by there to leave a kudos or a comment!
(This section and its pages are still definitely under construction!)
Chapters & Snippets
The collection of one-shots and snippets that make up this narrative! There's not a singular, progressive plot that threads this story together, so they can be read in whatever order you so desire! I currently have them organized on this site based off the order I wrote them in -- the oldest fics on top, the newer ones added to the bottom. However, if you'd like to see them organized along a vague in-universe chronological timeline, you can view the ArchiveofOurOwn page for this series instead!
Lazy and Lying on Your Belly: 3843 words
"You're warm," Augustus mumbles, half to herself, shuffling the rest of her body in closer to pin her arms down under the weight of her own chest, body pressed up against Changeling's side. It freezes, hands hovering uncertainly above her shoulders, unsure of what to do with itself. Usually, it would have shoved her off immediately. Usually, she would have asked before she touched it at all. She used to forget to do this frequently, but has not done so in a while. Do I hate this? Changeling wonders anxiously, and has no answer for itself.Oblivious, Augustus finishes curling her body around the Changeling's side and sniffs pathetically. Instead of asking for either forgiveness or permission for the breach in etiquette, she says, "Cover my eyes, man — your lamp is too bright."
sit in the car and i listen to static: 2067 words
"My mother was called in for an emergency shift," it explains tightly. "So she could not drive me at the correct time. She informed me I would simply have to wait inside the store until my scheduled shift arrived.""Oh, gross, don't do that," Augustus supplies immediately, and then forces herself to course-correct, head twitching to the side. "Or, I mean, you could, like it is allowed, but you don't have to. My lunch break just started, so you can just sit with me instead."
The Changeling turns its head just enough to stare at her from the corners of its eyes. "Obviously," it says, and its tone broadcasts the implicit 'Idiot' so clearly that even Augustus can hear it. The whole thing makes her feel unbearably fond.
glance across the garden air: 3658 words
Augustus looks up from her sketchbook to smile across the yard at it, eyes blinking hard. The Changeling distracts itself from the way the tic and expression both push the skin around her eyes into soft little folds and creases by staring at the way the sun cuts a halo against the broad silhouette of her shoulders instead. Eventually, it glances away altogether — even with sunglasses on, it is too bright to withstand gazing directly at her for long."Now who's got a lot to say?" Augustus asks, poking her tongue out from between her teeth, and Changeling turns to busy itself with the bleach again, scowling.
every day i take a minute of your time: 3226 words
It is bad already, but she knows from experience that it will continue to get worse. The goalpost is shifting further back every time Augustus gets close to fulfilling the insistent need to move. Her head snaps back hard enough to ache a little, muscles in her neck yanking sharp against nothing at all, leaving her a little dizzy. Her breath catches uncomfortably in her sinuses.A distressed noise catches high up in the back of Augustus' throat. She is having a truly terrible time.
"Okay," comes Changeling's voice finally, its tone as flat as always. "I suppose I will watch the register, then."
all i said is, do i have a choice?: 12865 words
'Changeling,' she thinks about texting, wishing against all reason that it was here for her now. 'I went on a walk and got hit by a car. I came all this way, and did not even get to look through the stupid card packs. How is that fair?'
and when we find out what's wrong with me, could you tell me how I'm right for you? : 4132 words
Tomorrow, Aurora will go back to college and never call to talk to Augustus, and so as long as Augustus doesn't think about it, it will be much easier to forget that it hurts. Tonight, it is Augustus' birthday, and she is going to have a good time hanging out and having fun with her best friend, and there is nothing anything can do to change that.She nods to herself and gets her bag, makes sure that her car doors are locked, and then goes to knock on Changeling's door.
it tears through my head, does it haunt you too? : 5420 words
Something strange feels caught inside of its rib-cage, though. It does not really understand what or why. Perhaps it is worried about Augustus? But it has felt that before, and that does not feel right. Or, at least not wholly right.Then it thinks that it is not sure if it has ever heard anyone else speak in its defense before. Not really. The feeling in its throat intensifies at the thought, sharp and aching.
it's the only ease that comforts me : 1988 words
A memory of a teacher's voice nags in the back of her head that hiding will not fix anything at all. All of the tasks and problems will still be there, unfinished, whenever she manages to emerge, she knows it. Augustus does her best to shove the annoying insistence away; she knows she isn't fixing anything, but she feels less like she is liable to crumble and meltdown entirely while she is here. The hiding solves nothing, maybe, but at least it helps with that.
Art Gallery
