Lenore

33 | She/Her

Lenore works as a janitor at a local college campus. Despite its mediocre pay and tendency to go underappreciated as a career, she actually likes her job a lot! The mechanical routine of cleaning is a nice daily ritual, and the fact that it lets her stay moving all day rather than confining her to a single desk is a real boon. Since she was born without a sense of smell, she doesn't have any hesitancy around the "grosser" aspects of the work, and she's well-appreciated by her supervisors for her hard work, enough that they're willing to overlook some of her social issues. Highlight of her job is when she's able to work with the larger cleaning equipment, like the carpet cleaner and floor waxer.

Outside of work, Lenore is a hobby artist -- works with sculpture in particular. Rather than buying clay, she makes most of her own with recycled paper. Her work is often strange and disorganized (like her!) and is frequently inspired by her dreams and extrasensory perceptions, making her an avid dream journaler. She does not sell or share her work on social media, but will often give some of her sculptures away as gifts. Most of them are displayed haphazardly around the apartment she shares with Quinn. While her sculptures are not made for any particular purpose, they are often occupied by spirits and extradimensional beings who would like an anchor in our reality. Lenore allows this, and when they are ready to move on, she destroys the sculpture to allow them to leave (the material is typically repurposed for more clay).

She is also a big fan of horror movies; adores creature features and slashers -- the more gore, the better. She's particularly interested in films that rely heavily on the use of practical effects, and enjoys looking up behind hte scenes material to learn more about the art departments' inspiration and methods, which she'll often share throughout rewatches. This makes her particularly fond of movies with lower budgets that had more ideas than they did skill in execution. Some of her favorite movies are: Thirteen Ghosts, The Thing, The Cabin in the Woods, and Evil Dead.

While Lenore would definitely be considered to fit the diagnostic criteria for Schizophrenia, she does not always identify with this as a label for her experiences. While she sometimes does not hesitate to call herself schizophrenic -- either internally or to other people -- she is just as likely to reject it outright (or forget to consider it at all). Overall, the use of the terminology is not high on her list of priorities, since she does not involve herself in the psychiatric system (is not diagnosed and does not take any medications; does not have a therapist) and has no plans to do so in the future. As far as it concerns her, she has been like this all her life, so she figures out how to live with it like she always has, and how she does so isn't particularly anyone's business. While she's not prone to reading theory or being involved in group movements, she would identify closely as a psych abolitionist / proponent of Mad Pride.

Believes in ESP, spirits, aliens, and extradimensional beings; considers herself "highly sensitive", although not particularly "spiritual". While these beliefs do occasionally dip into more overwhelming or paranoid wavelengths, they are for the most part a neutral or positive aspect of her life. She hears voices almost constantly, but generally considers them to be helpful presences (albeit, occasionally annoying) and often relies on them and her "ESP" to help her navigate through the world. Is not especially reserved about these beliefs and will often talk about them openly, unless she gets a Bad Vibe from the conversation.

Overall, Lenore trends towards coming off as a little manic and excitable. She tends to talk Loud and Fast, and often a little overfamiliar in a way that makes some people uncomfortable -- like initiating spontaneous conversation with strangers in the hall or at bus stops. She doesn't mind being rebuffed, but can get annoyed when people treat her like she's being threatening when she knows she isn't. While Lenore is generally pretty open and extroverted, she does occasionally become more recalcitrant and closed off, particularly when stress, overwhelmed, or faced with someone asking particularly prodding questions.

Lenore has some problems with disorganized speech; how much she struggles often varies from day to day. Very prone to vague and tangential speech, she does not have great volume control, so tends to speak very loud and can push over into shouting without really realizing. She has some problems with stuttering and cluttered speech, which worsens when she gets stressed out or overwhelmed -- tripping over words more frequently or putting them in the wrong order. Despite the frequent difficulty, she doesn't consider speaking frustrating in general but does start to become quickly annoyed if people make her repeat herself several times.

Often prone to getting overstimulated, especially when she has to directly interface with other people. She has a low frustration tolerance in social settings, and the general noise inside of her head at baseline means her tolerance for additional sensory input is particularly low. Does not often mask this overstimulation very well -- if she's not able to remove herself from the situation, she'll likely start to scream or throw herself around a little bit. Is generally good about removing herself before reaching that point, though, unless someone tries to prohibit her from leaving (was more of a problem when she was a child, compared to an adult -- her current employers are a little more willing to work with her inconsistent breaks since she does always return to finish the job before long). Does not consider this a particular barrier to her natural exuberance -- talking To someone is a different skillset than listening to someone speak or participating in active conversation with them, and generally considers herself pretty open and trusting, it's just that some of her voices are paranoid and They occasionally demand appeasement.

While she can sometimes mitigate or minimize some of her more notably unusual beliefs or behaviors, Lenore is never particularly adept at masking to pass as neurotypical. She talks to herself almost constantly, often out loud, and tends to be frank about the things she believes in. Cannot reliably read social cues or body language, but is typically aware on some level that people tend to be uncomfortable around her, but does not know how to "fix" this. At this point, she is largely resigned to the idea and ignores it as best as she can while keeping to herself as best as she's able (sometimes has a harder time controlling the impulse to Begin talking to someone, but will leave if asked or if she's able to pick up on obvious disinterest/discomfort). Primarily finds this frustration aimed at other people, not Inwards towards herself; the way that she is is what makes her herself -- why would it be fair to try to change that just because other people chose to be uncomfortable with it?

Lenore has a somewhat strained relationship with her family, although she does not often acknowledge this. Her family moved a lot for her father's job, and her mother was frequently more preoccupied with her own difficulty in adapting to that lifestyle than on focusing on Lenore. They both tend to be somewhat dismissive and neglectful of her, which Lenore insists is normal and not a big deal. Will often get defensive if pushed on this. Her parents were never outright cruel, but they did seem to have her primarily to fulfill a perceived social obligation for children, and weren't entirely sure what to do with her as A Person. Dealt with Lenore's more obvious struggles primarily by ignoring them, and they moved too frequently for any record of teachers' concerns to become notable. Lenore speaks to them infrequently on the phone, and does not tend to visit, but will still insist that they're close.

She met Quinn when she responded to an ad about the room opening in her apartment, nad moved in fairly quickly since she didn't have any vehement complaints about Quinn's expectations (Lenore had to quit smoking to avoid straining Quinn's lungs, and learn how to help operate Quinn's wheelchair and transfer her safely in/out of it in case of an emergency when her support workers weren't on the clock). They became friends soon after, since Lenore finds the sheer force of Quinn's personality to be cool and somewhat reassuring, and Quinn finds Lenore's naive strangeness the same. The fact that Quinn is so straightforward and blunt means that Lenore doesn't have to waste any energy trying to guess with her, and finds the aspects of Quinn's personality other people perceive as "abrasive" to be fun and amicable. While Lenore doesn't necessarily have a lot of intuitive sense for how to help accommodate Quinn, she does listen very intently and follows what she's told to the letter, which is better in some ways in the long run. Quinn also does a lot to help Lenore in return -- like giving her social tips, helping her out with her finances/taxes, and such -- which Lenore appreciates immensely.

Lenore and Ghost met at work one day, and they became friends almost immediately. They hang out on campus together quite a lot during their lunch breaks and/or at the end of their shifts, and get together on the weekends fairly often. Lenore thinks Ghost is easily the coolest person in the world, and loves being able to talk to someone who somewhat shares some of her beliefs (primarily in spirits, although Ghost doesn't vehemently deny any of Lenore's other beliefs) and who actively appreciates Lenore's tendency to monologue somewhat rather than engage in traditional back and forth conversation. She finds Ghost's quiet steadiness both impressive and admirable, and will readily stand up for her with other people when the need arises (whether that's chasing off someone making rude comments or correcting her food order at a restaurant). Doesn't always understand the intricacies of Ghost's poetry, but loves to listen to her read when Ghost feels like sharing. Ghost in turn has a shelf in her apartment entirely dedicated to gifted sculptures from Lenore.