INT. VAN

LOUD MUSIC and a real party atmosphere - even more so than before.  People laugh, move to the music, douse each other with soda pop.  Bill and Ted sit in the front with Joanna and Elizabeth.  Bill starts the van.

BILL
(over shoulder)
Okay.  We will now take you all back
to your respective places in history.

TED
Bill.  Wait.  Don't you think we owe them
something for all their generosity?

Bill thinks for a moment, then:

BILL
You're right, Ted.  Where should we take them?

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. RAGING WATERS AMUSEMENT PARK - DAY

PAN ACROSS all of our HISTORICAL FIGURES, who wear only ill-fitting BATHING SUITS.  They are standing at the top of a water slide.

TED (O.S.)
Okay, this is Raging Waters and these are
most excellent water slides, which Bill and I find
most outstanding.

FINISH PAN on Bill and Ted, who wear cut-offs with their boxers coming out the tops and bottoms.

BILL
Now, there are several ways to go down the water slides.
They recommend going down on your butt or your stomach -

TED
- but we think by far the most excellent
way is to go down head first, backwards.

BILL
That is truly the most triumphant way
to enjoy these rides.  Any questions?

CUT TO:

RAGING WATERS - VARIOUS SHOTS

MUSIC PLAYS as our Historical Figures, led by Bill and Ted, go down the slides in various ways.  Shots include:

- Ted and Elizabeth go down the slides together; as do Bill and Joanna.

- Napoleon and Washington "race" down the slides.

- Genghis Khan, flailing lamely, lands awkwardly and scowls.

- At the snack shack, Bill and Ted treat everyone to hamburgers and cokes.

Overall, everyone enjoys themselves immensely, and as MUSIC FADES, we:

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. RAGING WATERS PARKING LOT - LATER

Bill and Ted are escorting the last of the Historical Figures into the van.  Everyone is wet and tired, but in good spirits.  People thank Bill and Ted as they get into the van.  There is a great sense of togetherness among the Historical Figures.  Bill and Ted close the door of the van and move around to the front, where Randolf, Biff and Ox stand, waiting for them.

RANDOLF
(very surly)
Where you goin', losers?

TED
We have to drop these people off, Randolf.

BIFF
Where you droppin' 'em off?

TED
Uh . . .

BILL
Listen, Randolf, we really gotta go, dude.

Bill and Ted move toward the doors, are blocked by Biff and Ox.  Randolf grabs Ted and pushes him against the van.  Ox grabs Bill.

RANDOLF
How'd you jerkoffs get all these speakers?
(really nasty)
Huh?

A hand moves INTO FRAME and grabs Randolf by the collar.

VOICE
That's enough

Randolf whirls and reacts to Rufus facing him, deadly serious.

RUFUS
Let them go.

Randolf shakes his head contemptuously.

RANDOLF
(coolly)
Hey, Biff.  Knock this guy's head off, okay?

Biff grabs Rufus but is quickly spun around, picked up and thrown several yards through the air.  He lands in some mud with a splat.  Then Ox tries to hit Rufus, but is also picked up and tossed into the mud.  Finally, Randolf goes after Rufus.  He circles him, fists up, ready to punch.  He charges Rufus but, very quickly, is picked up by the scruff of the neck and dropped into the mud where he lands with a thud on top of Biff and Ox.  Bill and Ted rush to Rufus.

TED
Rufus!  We thought you were in jail.

RUFUS
I was.

BILL
How'd you get out?

RUFUS
(smiling)
Are you kidding?

Rufus hands Bill and Ted a box.

RUFUS
I got these for you guys.  Let's go.

Bill and Ted open the box which is full of "Wyld Stallyns" T-shirts.  Bill and Ted look at the T-shirts, amazed and pleased.

TED
Bill.  We are most fortunate to have met Rufus.

BILL
(nods)
He is a most triumphant individual.

And they climb into the Van.  It backs out its space and begins to pull out of the lot, passing Randolf, Biff and Ox still in the mud, groggy.  Randolf looks up and sees the Van passing.

RANDOLF
Hey!  Come on.

He rousts the other two.  They all get up and chase the van which is still moving slowly, within the parking lot.

INT. VAN - REARVIEW MIRROR

Rufus looks into his mirror and sees the three guys running close behind.  Randolf, Bill, and Ox jump onto the back of the van and continue to hold on as the van blurs and disappears.

CUT TO:

EXT. VAN - TIME TRAVELING

Randolf and his buddies hold on for their lives as the van moves through a void.

EXT. EGYPTIAN DESERT - DAY

The Van lands with a crash, bounces a couple of times, and then takes off again.

Randolf, Bill, Ox and the others fall off the van and roll to a stop on the red clay ground, as the van blurs and disappears.

BILL (V.O.)
Why'd we go to Egypt, Rufus?

RUFUS (V.O.)
Excess baggage.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROMAN COURTYARD - DAY

The van lands exactly where it landed when it first was here.  It stops, and the door opens.  Julius Caesar steps out.  Ted stands by the door as Caesar waves goodbye to everyone in the van.  They all wave back, wishing him luck, etc.  Ted hands him a Wyld Stallyns T-shirt.

TED
Goodbye Julius Caesar.  Wear this in good health.

Bill extends an autograph book.

BILL
Will you sign this please?

Caesar does.  Then Bill and Ted get back in the van takes off, leaving Caesar in the exact same place in history from which we took him.

CUT TO:

SERIES OF SHOTS - THE VAN - TRAVELING THROUGH HISTORY

The Historical Figures are all dropped off, always exactly where they were picked up, both in time and place.  Everyone is given a Wyld Stallyn T-shirt as they leave.  People bid each other fond farewells, shake hands, hug.  Some, for some reason, exchange addresses.  Babe Ruth gives his phone number to Genghis Khan.  The last Historical Figures to be dropped off are Billy the Kid, and then Socrates.  As Bill and Ted wave a fond farewell to Socrates, who puts his Wyld Stallyn T-shirt on over his robe . . .

The van takes off and we:

CUT TO:

INT. VAN - PARKED IN A VOID

A love ballad plays on Rufus' stereo.  Bill and Ted sit opposite Joanna and Elizabeth.  Awkward silence.  Bill and Ted look at each other, nervous, then look at the Princesses.

TED
(very serious)
We must confess.  Bill and I are most reluctant
to return you ladies to your proper places in history.

ELIZABETH
We must confess as well . . . Joanna and I feel the same way.

Bill and Ted look to each other, hopeful, then turn back to the Princesses.

BILL
Joanna . . . ?

TED
Elizabeth . . . ?

The girls wait expectantly.

BILL
Would you do us the honor of being our
dates for the San Dimas High prom?

TED
And then, perhaps, join us to live happily
ever after in San Dimas, California, 1984?

The girls smile.

JOANNA / ELIZABETH
We would love to.

AIR GUITAR.  The four hug.  Rufus puts the van in gear and it takes off, MUSIC on the stereo picking up as well.  The Van disappears into the darkness.

TED (V.O.)
Rufus - this is the most excellent music!

BILL (V.O.)
Yah.  Who is that band?

CUT TO:

EXT. BILL'S HOUSE - DAY

The van stops in front of the house.  Bill, Joanna, Ted, and Elizabeth get out, carrying the remaining T-shirts and the autograph book.  MUSIC CONTINUES from within the van as Rufus gets out and joins them.

BILL
Rufus - you wanna come in for dinner?
(sotto)
My mom can't cook, but she's cute.

RUFUS
(shakes head)
I gotta go.

TED
Already, dude?

RUFUS
(nods)
My job's done.

TED
It is?

RUFUS
That's right.  You passed your report.

Rufus moves to the van.

TED
Well - where you goin', Rufus?

RUFUS
Back to San Dimas.

BILL
You're from San Dimas??

RUFUS
Right around here.
(beat, smiles)
But the year 2684.

Bill and Ted are blown away. Silence, then -

BILL
(starting to put things together)
Wait a minute . . . Ted!  That's where we were!
In that desert place, with the excellent domes!

TED
(to Rufus)
That was your place?

Rufus nods.

BILL / TED
Excellent!

Bill and Ted think about this.

TED
Hey . . . how come they acted like they knew us there?

BILL
Yah.

Bill imitates AIR GUITAR, as done by the people of 2684.

BILL
How come they did that, Rufus?

Rufus flips down his shades.

RUFUS
(beat)
You know that music I've been playing?

BILL
Yah.  It's most excellent.

Rufus pulls an album cover out of the Van and shows it to the guys.

TED
So - who is it?

RUFUS
It's Wyld Stallyns.

BILL AND TED
What???!!!

CLOSE ON ALBUM COVER

Showing the Wyld Stallyns insignia: Bill and Ted on rearing horses, holding phallic guitars, with Joanna and Elizabeth at their sides, holding lutes.  The album is entitled "TIME VAN."  Bill and Ted look at each other, excited and amazed.  They pass the cover between them.

RUFUS (O.S.)
You guys are gonna be the greatest
musical force in the history of this planet.

BILL
Us!?

TED
We can't even play instruments, dude!

RUFUS
Not yet.  But in time, Wyld Stallyns music is going
to bring humanity together and put an end to war, poverty,
and famine - forever.

Bill and Ted stare at Rufus.

RUFUS
That's why I was sent to make sure you passed
the report. If you'd been separated, it might have
been disastrous for life as we know it.

Long beat.  Then:

BILL AND TED
Excellent!!

AIR GUITAR, then:

TED
Bill, I do believe you and I have a great deal to look forward to.

RUFUS
Listen, before I take off, would you guys sign this album cover?

TED
Rufus, we would be most pleased and honored.
(writing)
'To our excellent friend, Rufus.  Signed - Ted T. Williams - '

Ted passes the cover to Bill.

BILL
' - and Bill S. Smith, Esquire.'

The album is passed to Joanna and Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH
And how should we sign it?

RUFUS
How about like it says on the album -
Elizabeth Williams and Joanna Smith.

Bill and Ted, thrilled beyond their wildest dreams, look at each other and do a very enthusiastic AIR GUITAR.

RUFUS
So long, Bill.  So long, Ted.

He nods warmly to Elizabeth and Joanna, who smile back.

BILL
Bye, Rufus.  Thanks for everything.

TED
Yeah, thanks, Rufus.

Beat. Bill and Ted move to hug Rufus, look at each other, then hug him anyway.

BILL
We'll never forget you, Rufus.

TED
Yeah.  Never.

Rufus finally gets into the van and all wave as - for the final time, the van pulls away, blurs and disappears.  We HOLD on the two happy, waving couples, then dissolve to:

INT. GYM - NIGHT

The San Dimas High Prom is in full swing.  Mr. Ryan stands at the door, greeting people.  Bill and Ted, dressed in white tuxedos, their boxers coming out the top, enter the building.  They are accompanied by Joanna and Elizabeth, whose Medieval apparel is astonishingly beautiful.  People stare, impressed, as the four enter.

BILL
How's it goin', Mr. Ryan?

Mr. Ryan nods and calls the boys aside. He speaks to them quietly.

MR. RYAN
Okay.  You guys got your 'A'.  You passed.  Now -
 let's be straight. How did you get all those actors
to do your report?

TED
They weren't actors, Mr. Ryan.

MR. RYAN
Okay, okay, okay.  How did you get all these . . . people?

BILL
Seriously?

Mr. Ryan nods.  Bill and Ted look at each other.  Mr. Ryan smiles.  Bill and Ted look back at Mr. Ryan.

TED
Mr. Ryan . . .

BILL AND TED
We went back into history and got 'em!!!

AIR GUITAR.  Mr. Ryan is speechless.  Bill and Ted go back to Joanna and Elizabeth and elegantly escort them onto the dance floor.  As they do, they pass a group of dateless cheerleaders including Buffy and Jodie, who are very glum.

BUFFY
(to Jodie)
I wonder where the guys are?

SMASH CUT TO:

EGYPTIAN DESERT - DAY

The sun pounds.  Whips crack on the backs of Randolf, Biff, Ox and the others as they haul stones toward the pyramids.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. GYM - DANCE FLOOR

Now in the middle of a slow dance.  Bill, holding Joanna, passes by Ted, who holds Elizabeth.  They look over their dates' shoulders at one another, grin.

TED
Bill, my friend?

BILL
Yes, Ted, my friend?

TED
This has been a most excellent adventure.

MUSIC SWELLS.  Bill and Ted raise their right arms aloft and, as they CLASP THEIR HANDS TOGETHER in undying friendship, we FREEZE FRAME, and then

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. GREAT DOME - CLOSE ON RUFUS

We HEAR tumultuous APPLAUSE as Rufus, dressed all in black, sunglasses on, ultra-cool, stands facing the camera.  After a beat, a beautiful, glowing, gold medallion is placed around his neck.  A futuristic sort of celebratory march plays.

VOICE
For serving humanity with bravery, intelligence,
and great valor - the world thanks you.

Rufus nods, smiles.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL that Rufus is standing before the THREE IMPORTANT PEOPLE, in the middle of the great dome.

ANOTHER ANGLE - LONG SHOT

And we see that the dome is full of people.  This is a huge celebration.

RUFUS - TRACKING SHOT

He turns, and moves through the throngs, smiling coolly.  As he walks, there is the sound of AIR GUITAR from each group as he passes.  At the huge doors, he stops, looks up, and winks at the two portraits.  It's clear now that these are Bill and Ted, wearing their black "Wyld Stallyns" T-shirts.

PAN DOWN to the quotes under their portraits:

"BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER"

and

"PARTY ON, DUDES"

And as we HOLD ON the two portraits with the quotes underneath, we freeze frame.

AIR GUITAR into SOUNDTRACK MUSIC.

ROLL CREDITS.

FADE OUT.

Go to Second Draft Variations . . .